Floating over a challenge

I am learning how to just float over a not so feel good situation by doing this:  when something is being said or something is happening that is far from what I want, my old self would argue about it with my spouse.  My "new" self takes sometime to analyze whether what is happening is worth a "fight" or not --- and sometimes by doing so, I catch myself going the direction of finding  a calm and peacefule place in my mind, and as the not so good situation develops, I make a choice to quietly say "thank you for this, it is making me undertand and realize what I really want, and here's what i want" and then I imagine what i want...and the negative situation seems to stop developing and dies there.